I've received many comments from people about my ways. To be more exact, my rustic ways.
My neighbour once commented that I walk very fast, and I am sure that most people would agree with that too. I do walk fast.
Another comment which might as well be a well known fact about me is that I am loud. I talk loudly and talk so much that I annoy people around me most of the time.
Plus, I have been told by people I'm about as graceful as a cow. I always bump into things: chairs, tables, hit my foot at the door, etc etc.
Honestly lah, I feel quite sad myself that I am like that. Why others can walk normal speed while I cant? Why others can speak so softly that people can hardly hear them at all? Why others can stand shutting up while I cant? Why others don't bump into things?
It's not that I havent tried to change that, it's just that old habits die hard and most of the time, I just forget. So I keep getting comments about my rustic ways. And I am quite embarassed by them....
I wish I'd be more like a girl.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
A bit of emoness at the end.
I myself and some others might have already expected an emo post on this date. It's nothing to be surprised about its emoness since today is like, the day the semester results come out. (actually i would still call it tommorow, since I havent gone to sleep yet although it's early morning. it's officially the next day only after i had a sleep and wake up)
Long post ahead. Be prepared. you can click to other sites or that red button up there if you want to, it's ok.
Today afternoon i went to the Spring with Soon Eng, saykhia and Chiong Lee. Thanks for the ride Soon Eng, I am so glad that you drove or else I would never go with the crazy traffic there.
Guess who i met at the Spring! It's Johnny, my secondary school classmate and friend! What a coincidence to see him there. Well, actually, he saw me first. I was so happy to see him. I guess I really do miss my old friends more than I thought I did. We are not exactly so the very close so I was quite surprised at myself that I was that happy to see him.
Anyway, we greeted each other with hi and he stuck his hand out to me in a gesture for a handshake. Quite weird huh, that young adults of 20 years in age and also friends would greet each other with a handshake. Of course I had to shake his hand, or else it would be left hanging there and he would be embarassed if I didn't. So formal lah, I even felt weird. It's not like we baru get introduced to each other or anything like that. Personally I thought of hugging him, it would be fine for me even with so many people around (who cares to look anyway, huh). But cause he stuck his hand out I couldn't do so.
So I tak jadi give him a hug lah. -___-
Really sweat, looks like Johnny is as kolot as always even in this kinda time and age.
So we parted ways after exchanging some conversation.
And then I saw Miss Phang in a clothes shop. Actually she saw me first. Yeah, I am quite blur sometimes when I am walking around, but that doesnt mean I am rude. It's not that i don't wanna say hi first, I just don't really notice people.
So we said hi to each other. She told me she bought some shoes for CNY. I asked if she had bought all her new year clothes; she said no. Then she asked me the same question, I said yes, around Christmas time.
Her reaction was : "Wah, you bought all your clothes so fast already! You memang kiasu huh, Shopping also so kiasu."
What the.....-____-*
Imagine how -_____-* I was in that situation. She giggle giggle giggle and I did too, dunno why. It's an automatic reaction to giggle together I think. I proceeded to defend my case of shopping during Christmas by telling her that there's sale during that time. Plus there's not gonna be much sales anymore before CNY. And they tend to raise the price before CNY.
And it's like she doesn't believe me.
I could not manage to defend my case any further with her giggling away and eyes wide in disbelief at my claims.
I don't really know who is the kiasu person here. She told me she went to the Spring on the first day and today was the second time she was there. IF not kiasu why come twice huh.
Everyone should do their clothes shopping for CNY during Christmas. You can take your sweet time and find something you really like; instead of rushing to buy something for CNY just weeks before. What if you don't find something you like? You'll keep searching and searching and with the pressure of CNY drawing nearer, you'd be forced to settle with something which only looks okay instead of buying something you really like. Most of my relatives and friends do their shopping waaaay earlier. I guess her's just doesn't. Or she dismissed the brilliant idea of early shopping as kiasuness.
Plus you really do have more sales and better discount during Christmas! I forgot to tell her, but I went to that branch of clothes store we were in during Christmas, and there was 20% discount on most of the items! And no discount today. On those same items which I saw before, no discount! That pair of shorts were supposed to be marked down by 20% off its price! AND there's more new stock of clothes coming in for Christmas instead of CNY. So more choice. There you go. You don't have to be a pro to know all this.
Lets stop all that and get back to my emoness. I feel so.......insecure right now. I hope all goes well tommorow, I really want that pass for my programming subject. I just want a pass, a pass so badly, I think if I do pass my programming I would be very thankful and very happy that I did pass my programming exam.
I know that I've gone through this before with last semester's physics B and it all went well in the end, thanks a lot for that. But I hadn't got used to the anxiety of exam results, who had? And going through this anxiety and insecurity again is so much of a torture to me. I think it's worse than pain right now.
There's a lot I want to say right now. But sense maybe, stopped me from doing so. This post would be waaay longer if I had not put that much thought into what I type out, and there wont be any post at all, if I had thought properly of what I want to say. In this mood, a day before the results are out, the thoughts would be depressing. But it's only what i feel at the moment.
I hope everything's gonna be okay.................
Long post ahead. Be prepared. you can click to other sites or that red button up there if you want to, it's ok.
Today afternoon i went to the Spring with Soon Eng, saykhia and Chiong Lee. Thanks for the ride Soon Eng, I am so glad that you drove or else I would never go with the crazy traffic there.
Guess who i met at the Spring! It's Johnny, my secondary school classmate and friend! What a coincidence to see him there. Well, actually, he saw me first. I was so happy to see him. I guess I really do miss my old friends more than I thought I did. We are not exactly so the very close so I was quite surprised at myself that I was that happy to see him.
Anyway, we greeted each other with hi and he stuck his hand out to me in a gesture for a handshake. Quite weird huh, that young adults of 20 years in age and also friends would greet each other with a handshake. Of course I had to shake his hand, or else it would be left hanging there and he would be embarassed if I didn't. So formal lah, I even felt weird. It's not like we baru get introduced to each other or anything like that. Personally I thought of hugging him, it would be fine for me even with so many people around (who cares to look anyway, huh). But cause he stuck his hand out I couldn't do so.
So I tak jadi give him a hug lah. -___-
Really sweat, looks like Johnny is as kolot as always even in this kinda time and age.
So we parted ways after exchanging some conversation.
And then I saw Miss Phang in a clothes shop. Actually she saw me first. Yeah, I am quite blur sometimes when I am walking around, but that doesnt mean I am rude. It's not that i don't wanna say hi first, I just don't really notice people.
So we said hi to each other. She told me she bought some shoes for CNY. I asked if she had bought all her new year clothes; she said no. Then she asked me the same question, I said yes, around Christmas time.
Her reaction was : "Wah, you bought all your clothes so fast already! You memang kiasu huh, Shopping also so kiasu."
What the.....-____-*
Imagine how -_____-* I was in that situation. She giggle giggle giggle and I did too, dunno why. It's an automatic reaction to giggle together I think. I proceeded to defend my case of shopping during Christmas by telling her that there's sale during that time. Plus there's not gonna be much sales anymore before CNY. And they tend to raise the price before CNY.
And it's like she doesn't believe me.
I could not manage to defend my case any further with her giggling away and eyes wide in disbelief at my claims.
I don't really know who is the kiasu person here. She told me she went to the Spring on the first day and today was the second time she was there. IF not kiasu why come twice huh.
Everyone should do their clothes shopping for CNY during Christmas. You can take your sweet time and find something you really like; instead of rushing to buy something for CNY just weeks before. What if you don't find something you like? You'll keep searching and searching and with the pressure of CNY drawing nearer, you'd be forced to settle with something which only looks okay instead of buying something you really like. Most of my relatives and friends do their shopping waaaay earlier. I guess her's just doesn't. Or she dismissed the brilliant idea of early shopping as kiasuness.
Plus you really do have more sales and better discount during Christmas! I forgot to tell her, but I went to that branch of clothes store we were in during Christmas, and there was 20% discount on most of the items! And no discount today. On those same items which I saw before, no discount! That pair of shorts were supposed to be marked down by 20% off its price! AND there's more new stock of clothes coming in for Christmas instead of CNY. So more choice. There you go. You don't have to be a pro to know all this.
Lets stop all that and get back to my emoness. I feel so.......insecure right now. I hope all goes well tommorow, I really want that pass for my programming subject. I just want a pass, a pass so badly, I think if I do pass my programming I would be very thankful and very happy that I did pass my programming exam.
I know that I've gone through this before with last semester's physics B and it all went well in the end, thanks a lot for that. But I hadn't got used to the anxiety of exam results, who had? And going through this anxiety and insecurity again is so much of a torture to me. I think it's worse than pain right now.
There's a lot I want to say right now. But sense maybe, stopped me from doing so. This post would be waaay longer if I had not put that much thought into what I type out, and there wont be any post at all, if I had thought properly of what I want to say. In this mood, a day before the results are out, the thoughts would be depressing. But it's only what i feel at the moment.
I hope everything's gonna be okay.................
Monday, January 7, 2008
first post of the year
here i am at 4.15 in the morning writing the first ever blog entry for the year 2008. i'm insomniac. or probably it's the tea i drank yesterday night which kept me awake till now.
i dont even care to type in proper capitalization, i feel lazy. blogger should really autocaps the first letter after the period.
i went to bed around 2am but kept lying awake and couldn't sleep, i tried singing words to songs which popped into my head but stopped sometime after cause i am worried that i'll wake up the girl next door.
and then there's that whining dog from one of the houses at the back row. maybe it's in pain, or maybe it's even whining cause it cant stand my singing voice which was projected to its ears.
gosh, i do wish i have a blackberry, eh? wont it be easier to actually blog through a blackberry in the middle of the night when something comes to your mind, instead of having go through the hassle of switching on your computer and then signing in to blogger to write a blog entry?
it would be much more....natural that way. being able to jot down whatever thoughts which goes through your mind at any time. then you'd truly be able to keep in memory what you truly went through in a day, in a week, in a year, in a span of your life.
if you write out what happened to you yesterday in your blog, won't the story be different? wont the feelings be different? 24 hours or more passed, after all, and feelings change as well as you forget things rather quickly.
as often as they say blogs are outlets in which you can freely express ur feelings, i think not many people are truly honest when writing blogs. or they could write it a different way, which is avoiding writing really personal feelings, feelings in detail. they would only type out their feelings and thoughts in general. writing about things which aren't about their personal issues. what they said about an online diary? nonsense.
people dont treat blogs like an online diary. i most certainly do not think my blog is an online diary. people dont really like to write about personal stuff on their blogs. they write about other things of their interest.
when we had our writing course and had to passup weekly journals it was good. i was able to write about things which are personal to me. personal thoughts. that was because no one would really find out my thoughts and feelings that way. only the lecturer. and i was rather happy that she told me she enjoyed reading what i wrote. not to be proud that i have excellent writing skills or anything like that for the praise, but i was actually happy that someone can read what i felt and thought, she did not judge me from my writing. if she did, who cares? i dont really feel much if the lecturer judged me as a person from my thoughts and feelings.
sometimes, i think thoughts and have opinions which i'd very much like to write down in the blog. but when i actually get myself to type it out, i just could not hit the publish button. in the end i just spent time typing all of that for it to be deleted forever. i guess it's some kind of therapy to get it out on the computer screen. at least i am inputting my thoughts into the computer if i cant get anyone to listen to what i have to say and judge me thenafter.
i have friends telling me their thoughts every now and then. i ask silently, why arent they writing this up in their blogs since they have one? they really care what people think of them, people judge others too often. smarter ones blog under a pseudonym, never linking to anyone, never letting themselves be linked, and only allowing a handful of trusted ones to have access to their blog.
what do you really feel right now? what's really on your mind right now? do u really write it all down in your blog? i have a feeling a majority would answer no.
i'm the kind of person who wouldn't want others to figure me out too much, i thought that i am one from very few who islike that, but i guess others discreetly are such people as well..
ugh, my head hurts from not being able to fall asleep..........
it's 4.48am now, i should probably go to sleep....
this time, i'll click the publish button, but like many other deleted blog entries before it, i hope it wont be deleted by me the next time i sign in to my blog.
and come to my senses, after sleep. right now i'm just sleepy.
i dont even care to type in proper capitalization, i feel lazy. blogger should really autocaps the first letter after the period.
i went to bed around 2am but kept lying awake and couldn't sleep, i tried singing words to songs which popped into my head but stopped sometime after cause i am worried that i'll wake up the girl next door.
and then there's that whining dog from one of the houses at the back row. maybe it's in pain, or maybe it's even whining cause it cant stand my singing voice which was projected to its ears.
gosh, i do wish i have a blackberry, eh? wont it be easier to actually blog through a blackberry in the middle of the night when something comes to your mind, instead of having go through the hassle of switching on your computer and then signing in to blogger to write a blog entry?
it would be much more....natural that way. being able to jot down whatever thoughts which goes through your mind at any time. then you'd truly be able to keep in memory what you truly went through in a day, in a week, in a year, in a span of your life.
if you write out what happened to you yesterday in your blog, won't the story be different? wont the feelings be different? 24 hours or more passed, after all, and feelings change as well as you forget things rather quickly.
as often as they say blogs are outlets in which you can freely express ur feelings, i think not many people are truly honest when writing blogs. or they could write it a different way, which is avoiding writing really personal feelings, feelings in detail. they would only type out their feelings and thoughts in general. writing about things which aren't about their personal issues. what they said about an online diary? nonsense.
people dont treat blogs like an online diary. i most certainly do not think my blog is an online diary. people dont really like to write about personal stuff on their blogs. they write about other things of their interest.
when we had our writing course and had to passup weekly journals it was good. i was able to write about things which are personal to me. personal thoughts. that was because no one would really find out my thoughts and feelings that way. only the lecturer. and i was rather happy that she told me she enjoyed reading what i wrote. not to be proud that i have excellent writing skills or anything like that for the praise, but i was actually happy that someone can read what i felt and thought, she did not judge me from my writing. if she did, who cares? i dont really feel much if the lecturer judged me as a person from my thoughts and feelings.
sometimes, i think thoughts and have opinions which i'd very much like to write down in the blog. but when i actually get myself to type it out, i just could not hit the publish button. in the end i just spent time typing all of that for it to be deleted forever. i guess it's some kind of therapy to get it out on the computer screen. at least i am inputting my thoughts into the computer if i cant get anyone to listen to what i have to say and judge me thenafter.
i have friends telling me their thoughts every now and then. i ask silently, why arent they writing this up in their blogs since they have one? they really care what people think of them, people judge others too often. smarter ones blog under a pseudonym, never linking to anyone, never letting themselves be linked, and only allowing a handful of trusted ones to have access to their blog.
what do you really feel right now? what's really on your mind right now? do u really write it all down in your blog? i have a feeling a majority would answer no.
i'm the kind of person who wouldn't want others to figure me out too much, i thought that i am one from very few who islike that, but i guess others discreetly are such people as well..
ugh, my head hurts from not being able to fall asleep..........
it's 4.48am now, i should probably go to sleep....
this time, i'll click the publish button, but like many other deleted blog entries before it, i hope it wont be deleted by me the next time i sign in to my blog.
and come to my senses, after sleep. right now i'm just sleepy.
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